How It Is (with bonus tracks)

by Holly Figueroa O'Reilly

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    This record was originally released in 2002, but here, you can get some demos of the songs before they made it to the record.

    Immediate download of "How It Is" (or just the bonus tracks, if you have the record already), in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire.

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released October 10, 2010



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Holly Figueroa O'Reilly Seattle, Washington

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Track Name: Hard
I'm hard to live with
I'm hard to love
hard to get through to

and i know you are trying
but you're not enough
i can't get what I need from you

so why don't you just let me go

cause i'm impatient
but i'll make you wait
for all the things you need

and you get so angry
when I want things my way
anyone else would just leave

so why don't you just let me go

why don't you just let me go

I don't know how to tell you
i don't love you anymore
but i think you already know

you say its too hard
but what you mean is it don't come easy to you
and you can't tell the difference between the two

i'm hard to live with
hard to love
hard to get through to

i wish you'd stop trying
i wish you were enough
i wish so many things for you

you're gonna have to let me go.
Track Name: How It Is
How It Is
it doesn't matter how it should be
it only matters how it is
doesn't matter what i meant to do
only matters what i did

what i meant to say was i love you please stay
what i said was i don't need you or anybody
what i meant to do was throw my arms around you
and apologize for what never will but should be

repeat C

everything i do seems to make it worse instead of better
everything i say makes you madder and madder
but i never did learn to keep my big mouth shut
i should have learned a long time ago how to love

repeat C

i know what it takes to keep you from coming over
and i know what it takes to make you not care
and i know you don't know why I insist on being lonely
when i should be letting you in and thanking you for being there.

repeat C

he said i know what you are going to say and its better if you don't
i feel the same, we came way too close
i wish times were different i wish it were five years ago
maybe then you and me, you and me, you and me, you know

repeat C
Track Name: No One Can
isn't guilt a vicious lover
isn't time a gentle mother
i'd give anything for
one or the other right now

a lover to keep me in my place
or a mother to dry my face
i'd take guilt or gentleness
in place of this
in place of emptiness

how could you find no way out and no way in
why, when i was right there all the time, could you not know when to stop or how to begin
why would you lie alone in your room dying silent as sin

no one can
live in this house now that your gone
its full of lights that won't turn on
and you are the only one who made us smile

i'll strip your bed, put your pillow on the floor
box up your letters and leave them by the door
but i still don't believe you won't be coming back home

i can still hear you laughing
in the room upstairs where only you and i would go
i can feel you around every corner
every wall echoes with your hello
i can taste you in the air
i can smell the discontent of a restless soul
i don't know how to let it go, and I

guess its too late to be singing this song to you
doesn't that sound just like something i would do
i would do anything to bring you back.
Track Name: Scary
its hanging off your arm
its hanging in your throat
its the truth that told a lie
in the letters you wish you hadn't wrote

its breaking your heart
it tells you what you need
its the tiny beast
that gets you in your sleep

does it scare you?

its a kid without an arm
tugging at your sleeve
begging you for money you wish you had to give

its the one that got away
coming to you in your dreams
telling you things you never knew
that would have made all the difference
all the difference...

do i really scare you that much
i didn't do anything you didn't ask for

i know you cover it up with humor
when it gets a little scary
i know you hate what you are
and i know you love me

but you are gonna get tired of me so fast
i only give you a little bit in doses
but i haven't got the dosage right
cause you keep spitting me out

does it really scare you so much
i didn't do anything you didn't ask for
did i take in the air with such force
that you wished i would stop breathing?